101 Sleepless Nights
by Crick118
Summary: Naruto has some [cough,cough] interesting dreams about Sasuke, but will Sakura take this lying down? SasuNaru, ShikaIno, GaaSaku
1. Death of the Fangirls

101 Sleepless Nights

Death of the Fan Girls

Sasuke looked around at the pool of slowly thickening pool of blood. He sighed; this was going to be VERY hard to explain to the Hokage of the former ninja that tried to attack him. 'I guess I should be upset that they died,' he thought icily, on the other hand, there were no more fan girls to attack him ever again! Yes, from now on it would be easy living………

Beep, beep, beep! Sasuke sighed, for the twentieth time this month. "Damn, I thought they were actually dead this time." he said icily, managing not to show any emotion while saying this (minus the fact that he snapped as he said damn (hey, it was very hard for him to act like he didn't care whether they really died or not!)).

Poor fan girls never had a chance; Sasuke just didn't care about anyone. Over the years, girls always had huge crushes on Sasuke. But, he always tuned them out; vengeance had a way of doing that to a person. Ironic, ain't it?

In the same tone Sasuke calmly said, "Come on out, Ino," "Please, Sasuke, just your shirt?" Ino questioned eagerly. "Well…nah, I don't feel like it." Sasuke admitted in his head that she had found a good hiding place this time. It took him a good 55 seconds to figure out where she was hiding.

'Well that definitely wasn't a learning experience.' Ino thought grumpily on her way home. Sasuke had just kicked her out of his wonderfully Sasuke-filled apartment for the thousandth time this month. (Sigh!)For the first fifty times, just seeing his wonderful smiling, sleep-filled face gave her a high for the rest of the day. That was the only time he showed any emotion, go-figure. But now she was ready for the next stage, maybe him flexing before he found her. She shrugged at this point. 'Next time I'll just have to find a better hiding spot.'

Naruto awoke with a start. He had just dreamt that Sasuke had killed all of his pesky fan girls, then walked over to Naruto and kissed him as they stood over Sakura's cooling corpse. "Ewww!" Naruto screamed as he raced to the bathroom to wash his mouth out with soap. He couldn't like Sasuke, Sasuke was his rival, it was Sakura that he loved. Aaah, yes, his beloved Sakura, with her lovely jet-black eyes, goose styled black hair, and… Wait, that was Sasuke! Naruto dry-heaved at the thought. His beautiful Sakura had long, beautiful Gerber daisy pink hair (that was naturally that color, believe it or not, hey, this is Anime we're talking about!) and silver-blue eyes. Aaah…. no, Sasuke was hotter! 'Poor Sakura just can't compete, a real tragedy!' Naruto thought and then realized what he just thought, and washed his mouth out with soap again.

But, as much as he tried to get the dream out of his head, it just kept repeating in his mind! Like a horrible nightmare that keeps returning whenever you try to not think about it. 'Or, a fantasy that I just don't want to admit.' Naruto thought sheepishly. "Ewww, I'm a bloody fan girl!" he screamed, as he spent his whole shower trying to clean off his 'fan girl' stench.

Naruto had finally stopped thinking about his dream when he took the ramen out of the microwave. "Mmmm, why can't I just eat you straight out of the microwave, you tantalizing little devil?" Naruto stated as he waited the long 3 minutes for his ramen to get soft. This was a daily ritual, why just yesterday he called the Ramen his long-lost, delicious lover! 'I think Sasuke had Ramen on his breath when we kissed,' Naruto thought off-handedly, then threw out his Ramen because it reminded him too much of the dream. "It's okay, I'll just have something else for breakfast!" Naruto said nervously (this is the first time something's ever gotten in between him and his first love, ramen.)

Naruto started looking for something in the cabinets. Nope, all Ramen. Wait, there was a box of cereal! Naruto open it excitedly 'God I'm so hungry,' he thought to himself. Naruto stared in blankly, all that was in there were 3 cheerios and a few cobwebs. "Noooooo, the spiders ate my breakfast!" Naruto yelled as he started running around hysterically with tears in his eyes.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Sakura screamed as she fell out of bed. She just had the worst nightmare in her whole entire life. She touched the lightning-shaped scar in the middle of her forehead that stung from the after math of her dream- just kidding, that's Harry Potter, not to mention a totally different country! She had just dreamt that Sasuke had stabbed her in the heart, and as she took her last breaths, she watched Sasuke kiss Naruto right above her! 'I'm gonna kill that B#$& Naruto as soon as I see him. How could he steal my dream about Sasuke!' Sakura thought as she said aloud, "Oh, what an interesting dream," trying desperately to control her temper.

As odd as all 3's mornings were, they were all in for one heck of a day!


	2. Revenge of Inner Sakura

Okay, So hi. This is Crick 118 presenting the second chapter of my first ever fan fiction!

I know my fan fiction isn't the best, but it's my first! (Very excited-looking author) I really wish I knew what to write for an author's note, but alas, I have no experience.

So…Without further ado, I present the second chapter.

Wait…. Just one more thing. Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I wouldn't mind owning Sasuke! What is it about him that makes girls fall head over heels? Whoever can guess that wins special Brownie points with me (like it matters).

2. The Reign of Inner Sakura

"Hey Sasuke! Sasuke, wait up!" 'Oh great,' Sasuke thought bitterly (yes he does actually have emotions-if only showing in his mind). 'Ino's following me again' It was a daily ritual lately. Ino would hide somewhere in Sasuke's apartment; once Sasuke found her, she'd wait for him outside in the bushes for him in hopes of actually getting to talk to him, and in less than 2 minutes, lose sight of him completely. It's not exactly like Sasuke **TRIED** to purposely lose Ino, it's just that when you're running 5 miles an hour to warm-up for the day there isn't much Ino can do when she runs a mere 2 miles an hour.

Sasuke was actually rooting for her this time. The first few times, he was actually relieved that he left her in the dust. (Come on, give him a break every once in a while, being hot is very hard on someone who isn't conceited (or just doesn't care (I could see him being conceited.))!) Then, he thought it was kind of fun, in a callus way, to watch her dwindle off in the back as if she was just standing still. Soon, he just didn't care any more. But now, now, he actually craved for her to keep his pace, if only for 3 minutes. But would he slow down for Ino? Not on your life! After all, he had his pride.

'Oh come on,' Sasuke thought dryly, 'Why doesn't she just give up already?'

"I just don't get it. Why does Sasuke-kun run from me like that?" Ino asked nervously, to the sky. "Because Sasuke doesn't like you," came a haunting voice. "Who's there?" Ino said as she looked around nervously. "Look at you, looking around, like you don't know who I am!" it answered mockingly. "Show yourself you coward!" Ino yelled shakily "Would you calm down, you know damn well who I am, where I am (or at least I hope you do (you **are** a little nuts)), and why I can't show myself!" "Then humor me," Ino sighed as she miserably sat down. "Why Ino! Tisk, tisk, for not knowing the sound of your own thoughts!" "What?" Ino yelled, "I do too know the sound of my own thoughts! Why, I just listened to you last night, and you didn't sound a thing like you do now!" Ino answered unsurely.

'Oh come on, Sakura, I'm not that stupid!' Ino triumphantly thought as she crouched on top of a branch that was perfectly situated on top of Sakura's silently laughing body- it was one of those not seen or heard kinds, just one you could tell was going on under the surface. Ino was right, but wrong at the same time.

Sakura _was_ laughing, but once again, she had outsmarted Ino. After all, she was the brightest witch of her age! Because of her dream, Sakura had gone crazy trying to figure out why her beloved Sasuke would possibly even think of dating Naruto over her! This lapse had finally given Inner Sakura the chance to take over normal Sakura. Normal Sakura, desperate to have her mind back, was willing to strike any bargain with inner Sakura (well with the exception of killing Sasuke, they both had a **HUGE** crush on him, not to mention, the real-life fan girls would kill me (don't claim you're not out there, I'm one of you for god's sake!)).

Well, for those of you who don't know the way inner Sakura is, it ain't pretty! Inner Sakura is usually just what Sakura really wants herself to act. So you can see why inner Sakura getting control of Sakura is a _very_ bad thing!

Now where was I? Oh yes! Ron leaned down slowly to kiss Hermione.(No, that's not it.) No, that isn't right. Wait, now I remember! Thus, inner Sakura's Evil Revenge Plan was formed! (We'll just call it the ERP.)

Sakura stood looking out her bedroom window watching Ino fall right into her trap, while inner Sakura was rolling around in laughter. 'I really need to go see a psychologist about this,' Sakura sighed. "Oh come on, even you have to find this funny!" inner Sakura agued breathlessly, in between fits of giggles. Sakura had to admit, it _was_ a very good, and well-planned trick.

Sakura first put a tape player of her pretending to be Ino's inner thoughts. Next, she put together a fake Sakura right under a tree branch that was just obvious enough for Ino to use it, and still not think it obvious. (Don't try to figure out what the last sentence meant, it'd only confuse you, in other words: don't re-read it.) Splash! A huge bucketful of cold ramen was poured onto Ino's head. (The reason Sakura chose ramen is because it's incredibly sticky, messy, and hard to get out of your hair. She knew this first-hand from when Naruto tripped and accidentally spilled it smack-dab on the top of her head, they both cried for the rest of the day. She'd been considerably nicer to Ino with only using cold ramen.) Sakura guiltily smiled. Ino fell right into the trap, and it was hilarious, but would she admit it to inner Sakura, 'no!' "Too late you idiot, we're the same person. God you sure are dumb for a smart girl!" 'Oh put a sock in it, Is!' Sakura retorted. (Even though Sakura hates inner Sakura, they have a sisterly bond. Hence the nickname, and the fact that she never gets psychiatric help. (Or could it be that I just like the nickname Is? Possibly.)) (Is, **I**nner **S**akura, get it?)

The last part of the trap was quite simple really. She had merely put a lasso-like knotted bungee cord on top of Sakura's "body" and tied it to an incredibly high branch holding a big bowl full ramen (the bowl, of course, was glued to the branch), so that when Ino realized it wasn't Sakura, and started to angrily walk away, the bungee cord would pull her back, simultaneously pouring a pound of could ramen (courtesy of Naruto, 'He has so much ramen he probably won't mind if I just take a couple of packages,' Sakura thought. (He has a storage vault of the stuff for god's sake!)) on top of Ino's head.

"What?" Naruto yelled desperately, "How could I miss-place 7 whole packages of warm, sensual," Naruto drooled at this point, " Ramen!" Naruto asked as he uselessly looked in all of the pantries.

Yes! I got my very first comments! I love you all, you 3 wonderful comment-makers! No, rmbo, you don't count as the first considering I already read it to you beforehand.

PS: I made up the part about Sakura's revenge especially for the commenter who took my comment virginity! I'll try to let her down as easy as I can! (Was it that obvious, what I was planning I mean?)

PSS: I forgot to add this. Last time, I told you the Harry Potter Comment straight-out, but this time, I got sneakier, and will continue to! Mwah ha ha ha ha! Anyway, the first person to point the reference in this chapter will get brownie points with me. (Well, even if you don't care, I do!)


	3. Naruto's Fantasy from Hell

A/N: Hey, I Have An Alter Ego, I'm finished! Do I get a cookie?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But why can't I own Sasuke? Please! I'll even trade the cookie!

2.Naruto's Fantasy From Hell

Naruto's stomach growled hungrily. He hadn't eaten in four hours now! 'Oh man! I feel **so **sick! Maybe I should just stay home from practice today!' And, you know this has **nothing** to do with the dream he had last night! (I thought you all should know, that I'm very sarcastic about many things, and, to me, writing is simply a way of talking in print. Just thought you might want to know.)

' I know! I'll just lay down for a few minutes. Then maybe I'll feel a little better.' Naruto thought animatedly and stupidly. Okay, when you have a growling stomach, you go to the store, you don't lay down on the couch (couch, NOT coach) and hope it'll go away. I'm sorry, but Naruto is such an idiot! Anyway, back to the story.

"Oh, Sasuke!" Naruto breathed lovingly. " Yah?" Sasuke answered very un-passionately. "What? You Jackass! We just kissed for the first time, and the only thing you can say, is 'Yah?'" Naruto heatedly asked. "Yup, I'd say that about covers it." Sasuke answered dryly. "Come on, you can't think of one thing passionate to say?" Naruto pleaded. "Ummm, you're, no you're really not that cute. Well, you're no you're pretty stupid too. Damn, this is really tough. Just give me a couple of hours." Sasuke answered in a thinking stance. (You know, the usual: standing straight up, while tapping your head with your forefinger meanwhile your thumb's situated right under your chin.) "Sasuke you jerk! How could you just kiss me without any reason? I have feelings too you know! God, you are such a…………mph!" Naruto would have finished his sentence, except for the fact that Sasuke had just engaged him in the most passionate kiss in his life. Naruto's eyes were exploding from shock. (Well, can you think of a better way to describe it? Huh? That's what I thought!)

An incredibly loud car jolted Naruto out of his trance. Wait, that car was taking a really long time to pass by. Or maybe it sounded like a growl. Naruto slowly turned around just in time for Sakura to slap him. Naruto hit the pavement, **_hard._**

"Naruto you Jackass!" Sakura yelled as he blacked out.

"Naruto. Are you here? Naruto, where are you?" 'This is getting ridiculous,' Inner Sakura sighed, 'Can't we just sit down for a minute?' "Okay, fine, but only for a few seconds," Sakura answered in a whisper.

Sakura almost sat down on the couch, only to discover where Naruto was hiding. She was about to shake Naruto awake, when he started mumbling thing like "Jackassss………" and "Sasuke you jerk!" It became quite amusing for both of Sakura, until Naruto crossed the line and started moaning. Sakura desperately tried to figure out a reason for Naruto's moaning. 'Oh come on Sakura you idiot! He's obviously kissing Sasuke! He only said Sasuke a thousand times! Why? Why did I get such a stupid half like you?' Is asked as she stomped around in Sakura's mind, ranting. "Would you shut up already?" Sakura yelled at herself desperately.

'Just slap him already!' Is answered, "Will it shut you up?" Sakura asked while rubbing her temple. She was getting a horrible headache. 'Well duh!'

"Hey, Hermione! Check out the slap Sakura just gave Naruto!" Ron yelled, "Why, if that was a punch, she'd have you beat! It wouldn't even be a contest!

……………………………………………………………………………….. (Insert cheesy sound effects like, Bang! Crash! Pow! Ect, ect.)

"Hey, she does slap pretty well, I guess you were right Ron." Hermione answered. "Oooooooooooooooooooooooooh!" was all Ron could moan from his deathbed.

Sasuke sighed. 'Will this song ever get out of my head?' is all he could ask himself. He tried multiple techniques to get the stupid song out of his head. For God's sake, he even tried to sing "Trucker Hat" to get it out of his head! (I mean, don't get me wrong, it's a great song, it's just really redundant, and possibly more annoying than this one is when it's stuck in your head! So you know he must be desperate.)

The Song:

All the girls in the bathroom talkin',

Who they're gonna take to the Sadie Hawkin's,

My ears are burning but I kept on walkin',

Smile on my face, and an air guitar rockin'!

The Sadie Hawkin's dance,

In my kaki pants,

There's nothin' better!

…Oh, oh, oh!

The girls ask the guys,

It's always a surprise,

There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater!

Sittin' in the back of my next class nappin',

Gotta give a speech, then bow to the clapping.

Told a funny joke, got the whole class laughin',

Think I got a tan from the language arts baskin'!

The Sadie Hawkin's dance,

In my kaki pants,

There's nothin' better!

…Oh, oh, oh!

The girls ask the guys,

It's always a surprise,

There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater

Skimmed the cafeteria for some good seating,

Found a good spot by the cheerleaders eating,

The Quarterback asked me if I'd like a beating,

I said that's one thing I won't be needing!

And since I'm rather, _smart and cunning,_

I took up down, _the next hall running,_

Only to get stopped by _a girl so stunning,_

Only to get stopped by _a girl so stunning!_

She said, "Just move,"

"Ain't good with talkin',"

"Will ya go with me,"

"To the Sadie Hawkin's!"

The Sadie Hawkin's dance,

In my kaki pants,

There's nothin' better!

…Oh, oh, oh!

The girls ask the guys,

It's always a surprise,

There's nothin' better baby do you like my sweater

Yes, you guessed it, he had "Sadie Hawkins' Dance" stuck in his head!

I know, a weird place to end it, and it doesn't make sense. But, I'm going to attempt to do some plot building with it. Plus: That song is really hard to get out of your head! (Darn you rm/bo!) Umm, so yeah, review ok. 'Cause I know my story needs work! Danka! (Thanks in German. Try it! It's fun to say!)


	4. The War for Sasuke: Part 1

Chapter 4. The War for Sasuke: Part 1

"Aaaaaaaah!" Naruto woke up with a start to see Sakura sitting practically on top of him. "Eee-yaugh! Sakura, please don't hurt me! It wasn't my fault! Sasuke kissed me! It's not my fault, I swear!" Naruto pleaded while trying to wrestle Sakura off, so he could run away.

"Why Naruto, I have no idea what you're talking about." Sakura answered innocently, while firmly planting herself on top of Naruto's waist.

'Oh s#$! She's really going to kill me now!' Naruto thought as he struggled even harder to get Sakura off of him.

-----------2-----------

'Ok. Here goes!' Sakura thought disgustedly.

'Only for Sasuke.' Is sighed as Sakura leaned down to kiss Naruto.

-----------2-----------

Naruto closed his eyes and braced himself for the worst. If Sakura could slap as hard as she did, just in a _dream_, he figured her real slap would hurt like Hell! Not to mention her punch!

What he didn't expect was to find 2 lips nested on top of his, with an alien tongue trying to part them.

-----------2-----------

"Yes! I won!" Sakura shouted at the clouds. 'Um, no you _didn't_!' Is answered knowingly. "What do you mean I didn't!" Sakura asked angrily, "Naruto isn't going to even think about Sasuke, now that he has… oh crap!" 'Now you get it! How is losing Naruto as competition going to help if you can't have Sasuke either, now?'

"Well, I could always dump his sorry butt!" Sakura said, brainstorming. 'And you end up with the same problem you started out with,' Is continued, clearly amused. 'You know, you could just cheat on Naruto with Sasuke,' Is contributed, 'Yes that'll be fun! Let's do that!' "No!" Sakura yelled abruptly making 3 people who were walking by, turn back and stare, "-more pushing!" she finished while shoving an innocent bystander. (Innocent my foot! Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.)

-----------2-----------

"Don't push me," Gaara said evenly, yet clearly annoyed, "Or else, I may kill you," as he turned to the pink-headed girl standing next to him.

-----------2-----------

"Ummm, s-s-sorry." Sakura answered shakily to the redheaded freak that was walking next to her. Scratch that, now in front of her, because she had to stop from amazement. 'Damn he's hot!' Is breathed, stopping her in mid-sentence. (Is was always talking, it's just that Sakura could tune out some of it (for editorial reasons (For God's sake the show's for 9-year-old boys! Do you really think they'd show what Sakura was thinking about Sasuke?)).) "Yeah," was all Sakura could whisper.

-----------2-----------

"What just happened?" Naruto questioned the ceiling. "Did Sakura, the girl of my dreams, finally kiss me?"

-----------2----------

Would anyone like to know what really bugs me? (Too bad!) The song, "Which Backstreet Boy is Gay?" Don't get me wrong, it's a funny song, well, was a funny song, it's just that it's not funny anymore, now that one of them actually is gay! Damn that Nick!

You know what else really bugs me? The whole nickname chappie. What is with that? It's so stupid! It's like; it's got the same amount of letters as chappie, so why do authors write it? (Insert this diplomatic answer to you being defensive if you are a writer who happens to be offended.) It's not that I have a problem with the nickname, it's just that I don't get why you use it! (I really DO have a problem w/ it; it's really stupid and pointless! (Pretend JK to people who were offended by last statement.)!)

Anyway, r + r please, because I know this chapter wasn't very good, again!

-Crick aka Swiss cheese

(Oh, by the way, I HAVE been using divider lines for different perspectives, it's just that they didn't show up, so I'm using this instead)


	5. Sasuke Caves

Sorry, sorry, sorry! I didn't mean to make last chapter so confusing! So, for all the angry readers who didn't understand what the Hell I was writing about, here's a summary.

Sakura, assuming that Naruto had a dream about making out with Sasuke, get's really pissed at Naruto. Naruto, of course, actually DID dream that he made-out with Sasuke, and that Sakura came up from behind him and slapped him into next Tuesday. Well, he saw Sakura just as he woke up, and, as Naruto feared for his life, Sakura was desperately trying to find a way to keep Naruto from hooking-up with Sasuke. Her final decision: to make-out with Naruto, so he'd forget about Sasuke. Naruto just ends up confused, and Sakura regrets what she did, because now she can't have Sasuke either, without breaking Naruto's heart. And then Sakura meets Gaara.

Clear things up a teensy bit?

Chapter 5

"I KISSED SAKURA HARUNO!!!" Naruto yelled across the empty street. He couldn't help it; he'd been kissed by his crush of **3** years! It's amazing that he'd lasted 5 hours (it's now 11:30 (in case you were wondering (trying to describe things better (and probably failing miserably. Oh well!))) before jumping off of his couch (he stayed there the whole time, contemplating ( I know! Naruto actually contemplating! Who would could've guessed, Naruto actually thinks!)), running down the apartment stairs, and out into the star-filled street, screaming:

"_I_ KISSED SAKURA HARUNO!"

"I _KISSED_ SAKURA HARUNO!"

" I KISSED _SAKURA HARUNO_!"

"SAKURA HARUNO _KISSED ME_!" And, well, you get the idea.

Being the amazing spaz that he is (well he is!), Naruto continued on with this, for many hours, just repeating it many times****until it finally sunk in. Well, that and the fact that people started throwing things at him. (Just about anything they could get their hands on. Slippers, alarm clocks, HP books (those things can pack a punch!), flower pots, and stuff like that. I think someone even threw a brick.)

Now he just had to tell someone, but whom? (Hee, hee! ( I'm sorry, but how can anyone use a word like 'whom'without bursting into fits of laughter? Rhetorical (ooh, even better) question for those of you future English teachers who are really ticky on that kind of stuff.))

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

"Oh, great. Naruto's here." Sasuke thought as he sleepily opened the door. "What the Hell do you want?" he said aloud.

"Well, I… umm, I, well, I-I…. I kind of need to tell you something." Naruto answered nervously. "Can I come in?"

"No."

"Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"Hmmm, let me think about it. (2-second pause) No." Sasuke answered dryly

"Pwetty, pwetty pweeeease?" Naruto repeated while putting on his best puppy dogface.

"Fine." Sasuke answered in a gruffly agitated voice. It really wasn't that Sasuke couldn't resist the puppy dogface, because, well, he could. (Come on! This is **_Sasuke_** you guys!) It was really more of the fact that if he said no Naruto would just keep asking, _and asking, and asking,_ and Sasuke probably wouldn't get any sleep tonight if he didn't let Naruto say whatever the Hell he needed to.

Sasuke warily stepped aside and let Naruto enter his apartment.

#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#-#

Short and pathetic, I know, but now I at least have something planned for the next chapter. It should be out sooner, hopefully. God, I hate school, it totally sucks.

Review please! Thank you and goodnight.

-Crick118


	6. Pink Ponies and Unicorns in a Field of D

Chapter 6: Pink Ponies and Unicorns in a Field of Daisies

Sakura sat on a green-painted bench, reaching beside her seat and absent-mindedly chipping away at the paint. How was she going to get out of this situation? She was dating Naruto for God's sake! What would happen if Sasuke were to ask her on a date tomorrow? That'd be just like him; to do something she'd wanted for so long, at _the_ worst possible time!

'Oh my God!' Is screamed, 'He's going to ask me out tomorrow! And I'll be dating Naruto! This is not happening!'

Shikamaru snorted beside her. Wait, when did he get here? Sakura was sitting alone just a moment ago, and then…?

"You're all so troublesome," he muttered, leaning back and putting his arms around the back of the bench, "Always expecting something's going to happen and then when it doesn't you go ballistic. Then again, you go ballistic when you're actually right about something for once too."

"What're you talking about?" Sakura asked, confused about why he was here, in _her_ thinking spot, no less! Okay, so it wasn't _her_ thinking spot, per se, in fact this was the first time she'd ever been to this park, but still, it was the principle of the thing!

"Women," Shikamaru answered, staring into the trees surrounding _her_ bench, "None of you can see that he's just not interested. You, Ino, and every other girl in the village…there are plenty of guys who'd much rather have you date them than Uchiha, and yet you _still_ coddle him, thinking maybe someday he'll notice."

'That's not true! Sasuke loves me, I know he does!' Inner Sakura yelled angrily at Shikamaru, 'You tell him, Sakura!'

Sakura turned away embarrassed, as much as she wanted to side with her inner self, deep down, she knew Shikamaru was right…But damn, couldn't Is be right every once in a while?

"What if I can prove you wrong?" Sakura started out quietly, but her voice was getting steadily louder, "What if I could prove to you that Sasuke does love me? No, I'll bet you that I could win Sasuke's heart…in a week!"

#-#-#-#-#

Sasuke stared across the living room at Naruto blankly. Why was the dobe here? What did he want at 11 PM? Not that Sasuke particularly minded that the dobe had woken him up, the dream he was having was pretty damn scary; if it hadn't have been for that knock at the door, Sasuke knew he probably would've woken up screaming in front of that annoying pest Ino. And we all know what would happen then….

'Oh God, she'd probably start screeching,' Sasuke thought, shuddering. 'And try to hug me.' Now I know what you're thinking. Right now you're probably thinking that this was, in fact, Sasuke's horrible nightmare. But you're wrong. Ino really wasn't that hard to handle and could be easily avoided, even though she was quite pesky most of the time.

No, Sasuke Uchiha's dream was far more bone-wrenchingly terrifying; so horrible, it almost made_ him_ scream! Out of pity, I won't fill you in on the gory details, but I will leave you with the words, pink unicorns and fuzzy purple bunnies in a field of bright pink Gerber daisies. (Fing scary, man!)

"Well…?" Sasuke asked, drilling holes into the dobe's forehead with his eyes. Naruto could be so annoying sometimes! Why was he staring around Sasuke's apartment like that? Did he have a problem with the grey paint-job and matching carpet? What was wrong with grey? It's a good color! Besides, why should the dobe care what his apartment looked like; it wasn't his apartment!

Wait, why was he getting so defensive? Sasuke internally shook himself. Why should he care what Naruto thought of his apartment? It didn't really matter…ok, well maybe it did. But why should it matter so much?

#-#-#-#-#

Naruto gulped involuntarily. What was with Sasuke's apartment? Everything was grey! The shag-rug carpeting was a pale shade of grey; the couches he and Sasuke were sitting on were both a slightly darker. Now wonder Sasuke was always so pissy and emo! It's not because of his brother killing the clan and all, it's because he lived in such a dreary apartment!

'Now, if he had some orange, then I know he'd feel a whole lot better!' Naruto thought with a triumphant look on his face (well duh he's happy, figuring out a way to cure Sasuke's emo is like finding the cure for cancer).

"Well…?" Sasuke stared unflinchingly, shaking Naruto out of his epiphany.

"Well…what?" Naruto asked, copying Sasuke's tone of voice, or at least trying to.

"Dobe; you come to my apartment at 12:30 ("Well, actually 11: -") _and_ don't even remember what you came here for. You're such a dumb-ass." Sasuke sat back on the couch while crossing his arms over his chest.

#-#-#-#-#

Ino chuckled to herself happily. She had the perfect plan this time! Sasuke would never know what hit him; it would be a sure-fire success!

First, she'd hide under Sasuke's bed. Then, when he was fast asleep, Ino would stealthily take his pillow out from his head and replace it with her chest; while whispering all of her wonderful traits (which included beauty, brilliance (her amazing plan can testify to that), and brawn (although somewhat less than Sasuke's (she heard the damsel-in-distress thing was in these days))). Sasuke would wake up in the morning and while realizing how beautiful and talented Ino was, find her right underneath him, his for the taking!

Of course, Sasuke would _never_ notice when she switched the pillow out, or the fact that Ino should feel different from said pillow (well I sure hope so, otherwise she'd have to be a marshmallow)! And Ino would naturally stay up the whole night saying all of these sweet nothings and still be wide-awake in the morning. Oh, and let's not forget the fact that Sasuke's hated Ino from day one. But those were only trivial issues; they didn't matter.

Ino sprinted up the maple tree that was conveniently located beside Sasuke's 2nd story window.

'This is going to be so much fun!' she chirped happily to herself, 'I can't wait for Sasuke to wake up in the morning and find me! First I'll purr seductively, then I'll let him remember all of the things he heard about me, and then-…' Ino continued as she finally made it up to Sasuke's window, when something going on in the living room made her stop short.

"What the f?"

#-#-#-#-#

Please don't hate me for not updating in forever and a day! I'm sorry, it's just that life's been really hectic lately, and I'm trying to get better with my writing, so I had to re-do this chapter like 3 times.

But, my chapters are getting longer now! 3 pages! I hit 3 pages! Woot!

Anyway, fanfiction is where I write to try and better my writing, so constructive criticism is very welcome. What do you say? Drop a line please?

-Crick


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